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….really old poems i just found.

Photos of Barbie Angell by Rodney Smith - Tempus Fugit Design © 2013

poem #51.

somewhere in the comfort of my mind

there is a face that i can never find

and though he’s closer than i’d ever think

his image isn’t clear unless i drink

and others think that they are on my brain

and revel in the ways that cause me pain

just so words are carved again upon my page….

as long as dedications bear their names.




your poem.

i said that i would tell you

when you are in my pen.

and i always keep a promise

no matter what’s been said.

so this is all for you.

all that’s on my mind.

i had to write it down.

i had to take the time.

every single feeling

that i have had with you

is about to be revealed

and every word is true.

and every tiny thought

that has floated through my head

every moment spent with you

and every word you said.

all the little fantasies

that play while i’m asleep.

all the things i want to do.

the secrets that i keep.

all these things i’ll write down now

will all be yours to take.

but give me just a second please….

i need a little break.





living in the lie that you’ve come to know so well.

the web you’ve spun so carefully, your lovely piece of hell.

and the shadows on the walls, and the names you left behind,

line the shelves like paper on the bookcase of your mind.

bits of understanding float beyond your grasp

it’s their way of doling out the pieces of your past.

and mazes of misfortune flutter through your dreams

as you sleep your life away, snuggled deeply in your screams.

outside your world is cold, but your fear will keep you warm

and ignite the lonely promises, aged and smudged and torn.

and as you slowly fade away to the pain that gives you peace,

remember dear, you’ve lost your chance to ever be with me.

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6 Responses

    1. ….thanks. i found them while looking for writing from or about my friend who died. i hadn’t looked at that book in years. the last poem was about a boyfriend of mine who lied proficiently and was apparently on herion. i always liked the line “fade away to the pain that gives you peace.” glad they’re still liked after all these years. : )

  1. I either hadn’t paid enough attention to these or had missed these before. How long ago were they written? “hell” is really powerful; I like “bookcase of your mind” quite well–& “fade away to the pain that gives you peace” is both accurate & moving. I like “poem #51” & “your poem” too!

    1. they were all written in 1998 i think. it’s about an abusive ex of mine. one of the reasons i left illinois. thanks for the compliments, i had to go back and read the pieces so i knew what you were talking about.
      : )

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Contact Information

Barbie Angell

Release Date

March 5, 2024


“Barbie Angell Uncensored” is a dazzling fusion
of poetry, comedy and tragedy

ASHEVILLE NC – Poet, playwright and raconteur Barbie Angell performs “Barbie Angell Uncensored: An Unfiltered, Uninhibited and Unapologetic Event” at 8pm Wednesday, March 27, 2024, at LaZoom Bar & Gorilla. The 90-minute show is a melange of works spanning Angell’s career, including her poetry, excerpts from her autobiographical play “Death by Sparkle,” pieces from her children’s book “Roasting Questions,” and rarely performed mature works.

A multitalented, multi-hyphenate personality based in Asheville since 1999, the always colorful Angell is recognized around town for her work as a poet, playwright, columnist, emcee, artist and fashion designer. She has been voted “Best of WNC” poet by Mountain XPress readers for 10 consecutive years, and her skills as an emcee have made her a sought-after host for local festivals and large events such as Planned Parenthood’s Condom Couture and the Reproductive Rights Rally. 

Angell has written sketch comedy, co-authored “The Kids Show: Definitely Not for Kids,” and penned one act of “Grimm’s Fairy Tales” for Montford Park Player. She is currently creating and selling upcycled clothing in her own fun and funky signature style – some of which will be available for sale at the event, along with original artwork and prints.

Equal parts stand-up comedy, poetry slam and public confession booth, “Barbie Angell Uncensored” promises to be emotional, unsettling, hilarious, and as unique as Barbie Angell herself!

Tickets are available at for a suggested donation of $20.