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Bombs Away Cabaret….

Photos of Barbie Angell by Rodney Smith - Tempus Fugit Design © 2013

I’ve always been the kind of girl who pushes myself to do things I’ve never done before. When I began writing poetry, I wrote entirely in perfect rhyme. When people started asking me if that was because I didn’t know how to write free verse, I decided I needed to learn. When I began working on my children’s poetry book, I realized I’d never written pieces for children specifically, so I set out to do just that. I’ve performed in front of crowds as small as 5 people and as large as 3,000. I’ve been in front of audiences in coffee houses, bars, schools, auditoriums, bookstores, ice cream shops & parks. I thought I’d pretty much done it all….until 2 weeks ago.

my original costume. photo by Wendy Lou.

When Bombs Away Cabaret asked me to be a guest act for their latest show, I thought, “Sure, this will be like a bar show.” I was quite mistaken. A cabaret is vastly different from a bar. I had to reach much further into my college acting skills than I normally do. Typically, when I perform, my goal is to make the audience believe that I feel what I’m saying. In a cabaret, the performer needs to do that while also bringing quite a bit of sex appeal. Since I’m not what I would consider attractive, let alone sexy, this was a great deal more difficult. I am happy to report, however, that I did accomplish my mission by the last of my 8 shows and I can now add “cabaret poetry” to my portfolio.

the lovely Claudette Cleavage, also known as Sarah Benoit. photo by Gary Charles.

My love and thanks to the men and women of Bombs Away Cabaret for their support and friendship. I’d also like to thank those of you who came to see us perform….”I can’t say that I’ve loved you all, but I’ve loved as many of you as I could.”*

And so, I leave you with the poems I performed the last two weekends and the video of my third show, recorded by Gary Charles of GSocialMedia.

*cabaret curtsy*

rehearsal for Bombs Away Cabaret. photo by Joseph Barcia.

One Question.

Do you like me?
‘Cause, you know, for the life of me,
I couldn’t guess.
So do you?
Like in the way a boy likes a girl?
The nervous flutter of thoughts
and unrequited emotions
bubbling in your stomach
kind of like me?
The comfort in wrap of arms
and holding of hands
and twining of legs
and finishing of sentences
and listening of stories
and wanting to know
how I take my coffee in the morning
and how I take my love making in the afternoon
and how I take a shower
or a break
or regret
or a compliment
or how I’d take you if you told me that you liked me
kind of like me?
I’m sorry.
That was way too much all at once.
I’ll simplify.
Just one question….
Can I kiss you?

photo by Wendy Lou.

That Barbie Poem

My name is Barbie
But I’m not a doll
It doesn’t say Mattel
Upon my heel.
I’m not the babe
Who sits on the shelf
I can think and speak and feel.
My hair requires no gels or sprays,
My cheeks aren’t a blushing pink.
My legs are shapely….
My chest is not,
If you press my back, my eye won’t wink.
I don’t have matching accessories
But I come complete with a brain.
I don’t have a dream house
Or a pink car,
And I wasn’t made to entertain.
So don’t tell me you undressed a Barbie once,
And that you’d like to do it again.
Because I am not a Barbie Doll
And you sure as hell aren’t Ken.

photo by Wendy Lou.

Bitter Much?

Don’t say, “Hi” to me.
Why bother?
See, you’ll say, “Hi” and I’ll say, “Hi”
and then we’ll start talking.
Small stuff at first, music, the weather, however eventually we’ll move onto bigger and better topics. We’ll talk into the nite and watch the sun rise outside Denny’s discussing just exactly why we didn’t stay with that last person we talked all nite with and how different everything will be this time. Pretty soon those late nites at Denny’s will turn into after work dates. And the next thing you know we’ll be at the crucial point in all relationships….when you meet my dog and i meet your friends.
I know, right now it all sounds like a fairy tale, and I see you nodding your head and saying, “Yeah, that’s precisely what I want in life….late nites drinking coffee with your dog.”
But just wait.
This unadulterated bliss won’t last long.
Because I’ve been there before.
See, this is the part where you sit me down to have that all important conversation about how I’m the “right girl at the wrong time”….but it’ll all be okay, because you want us to
be friends…..
However, that’s all bullshit because soon you’ll be going out with some vapid little slut who only cares about how trendy she looks and how popular she is and who’s main concern is how to get me out of the picture but you won’t notice any of this because all you care about is how to be the kind of guy she really wants, which could easily be obtained with a lobotomy and a cool new GQ wardrobe and you won’t notice all of her painstaking plotting of the demise of our friendship because you’ll have your head so far up her ass that you’ll have
the optimal view of her spleen and I guess all of this is okay with me since by that time I’ll be so heavily medicated with reuptake inhibitors and Wild Turkey that I will no longer care
where you go or who you screw with your new lying, cheating, self-centered, stuck-up, conceited, brain-dead, whore.
So please, don’t bother to say, “Hi”….
let’s just say, “Good-bye” now and let’s skip all of the bullshit in between.

photo by Wendy Lou.

Time stands still,
how still it stands.
The hours stall.
The statued hands.
Your voice is breath.
I strain to hear.
Your lips are soft,
behind my ear.
No nervous looks
nor awkward strain.
You have my heart,
you wear its stain.
Our bodies close,
not close enough.
I cannot taste,
I want too much.
Passion poised,
your calming eyes,
halfway hidden
by my thighs.
If time should stop,
should cease to be,
my one small wish,
is you in me.

the cast of Bombs Away Cabaret. photo by Gary Charles.

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7 Responses

    1. thank you! : ) and thanks for the opportunity to not only try out cabaret poetry, but have the chance to really get it right. what you all do is quite a different art form than anything i’ve done before….and i do love to push my performance skills when i can. y’all are completely wonderful. : )

  1. Wow, I finally see what I was missing out on! I certainly will endeavor to see you live when I have the chance. Lovely, and thank you!

    1. aw, you’re sweet, thank you. : ) this is close to what i do in bar poetry shows, but i also do children’s shows & coffeehouse/bookstore stuff too. i’d love it if you could make it out to one of my events. if you do, please introduce yourself. it’s so much fun to meet twitter friends in real life. thanks again! : )

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Contact Information

Barbie Angell

Release Date

March 5, 2024


“Barbie Angell Uncensored” is a dazzling fusion
of poetry, comedy and tragedy

ASHEVILLE NC – Poet, playwright and raconteur Barbie Angell performs “Barbie Angell Uncensored: An Unfiltered, Uninhibited and Unapologetic Event” at 8pm Wednesday, March 27, 2024, at LaZoom Bar & Gorilla. The 90-minute show is a melange of works spanning Angell’s career, including her poetry, excerpts from her autobiographical play “Death by Sparkle,” pieces from her children’s book “Roasting Questions,” and rarely performed mature works.

A multitalented, multi-hyphenate personality based in Asheville since 1999, the always colorful Angell is recognized around town for her work as a poet, playwright, columnist, emcee, artist and fashion designer. She has been voted “Best of WNC” poet by Mountain XPress readers for 10 consecutive years, and her skills as an emcee have made her a sought-after host for local festivals and large events such as Planned Parenthood’s Condom Couture and the Reproductive Rights Rally. 

Angell has written sketch comedy, co-authored “The Kids Show: Definitely Not for Kids,” and penned one act of “Grimm’s Fairy Tales” for Montford Park Player. She is currently creating and selling upcycled clothing in her own fun and funky signature style – some of which will be available for sale at the event, along with original artwork and prints.

Equal parts stand-up comedy, poetry slam and public confession booth, “Barbie Angell Uncensored” promises to be emotional, unsettling, hilarious, and as unique as Barbie Angell herself!

Tickets are available at for a suggested donation of $20.