the christmas poem….
My life is a mess
All chaos and stress
And no one will sell me a gun.
I’m two blocks west of normal
And it’s not just hormonal
But I seem to be all out of fun.
It’s the reason for the season
And a season for believing
And I believe my life has finally turned to shit.
And the drivers are in panic
And the shoppers are all frantic
So it should come as no surprise
I’ve lost my grip.
When did Christmas lose it’s feeling
And why are we all stealing
All the happiness that others want to save.
Just be nicer to the sales clerks
Quit pushing and shoving
And acting like jerks.
Cause you only have your petty selves to blame.
My live is a mess, all chaos and stress
But I know I’m not ready to fall.
I’ll just keep to myself,
Count my friends as my wealth
and be thankful I’m not at the mall.
Again I am the fool….
Again I am the fool
Still playing by the rules.
My mind still sketching thoughts
Of better days.
The wind is always at my chest
My every thoughts a second guess.
Any road I have to walk
Has not been paved.
My Karma always comes out moot.
I’m being kicked by my own boot.
And I cannot see the vodka for the drink.
My Checkbook lives to dress in red.
And there’s a screaming in my head,
That makes it quite impossible to think.
Can you find it in your power
To spare a single hour?
For the benefit
Of someone you don’t know?
Could you offer up some laughter?
A promise ever after?
A map that shows
A better way to go?
I try to piece together
This quilt of bits of time.
So I can sleep at night
With all I know is mine.
It will always keep me warm
And always keep me safe.
Those ragged little memories
Of the life I had to make.
And if you scan it closely
You’ll see that you are there
Among the stitched up promises
And the empty cans of beer.
Amidst the tears and laughter
And the lovers that went wrong.
Somewhere in between
My countless favorite songs.
I’ve struggled all my days
To keep all the little scraps
Matchbooks and guitar picks
An endless array of crap
And I sorted through it all
And I weighed the good and bad
And I pretty much kept everything,
All the happy and the sad.
Yeah it’s taken me a lifetime
To be the girl I am,
And I refuse to live in bitterness
When life didn’t go as planned.
No I’ll take all that I’m given
And I’ll be better for it all.
I know it’s all just living
Every single time I fall.
I’m sure I’ve had it better
And I know I’ve had it worse,
But I’m not one to blame another
Or think my life is just a curse.
I want my quilt to span the globe
And cover everyone I’ve met.
I’d like to buy the world a coke
and toast a life of no regrets.
I want you all to sing with me
Some universal happy song.
And know that if you’re really you
Then nothing can be wrong.